There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize