can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
sex in a hospital.. check
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
