Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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