Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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