why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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