Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
