she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
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He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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