So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Found your dick twin last night
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
