Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
