Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
