So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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