Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
