I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
