: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
