I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
