Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
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I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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