You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
