You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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