Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
