you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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