real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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