watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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