I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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