I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
