Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize