I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm too high and old for this...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
