I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
