I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
