NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
