Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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