At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
