why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
