im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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