so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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