Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
