she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize