shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
