guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
that's an acceptable place to lick
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
