I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just invented taco cereal.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
