Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
