Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
