Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
