i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I touched a dick in church today
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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