Me too!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
