I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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