just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
