I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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