Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dick very happy bro
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
