Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
