best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
