You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
