Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
