never play flip cup with pint glasses
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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