I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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