Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
