and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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