I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
