piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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