I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
