Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize