are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
