Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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