haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
