Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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