Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
